Let me tell you why I’m doing what I’m doing. When I was six months old, no, no, not that early. 😂
In 2013, having completed an MBA from IIM Udaipur and getting placed in one of the finest automobile companies in India, I had a great package for my age. I was just 24.
Everyone in my extended family would look at me with a certain respect. I was in a place that almost all young people in India desire.
Then my father gifted me my dream bike (my first ever bike). Everything was exciting. However, soon things got back to normal.
My job became just a regular job. My salary didn’t look big as my superiors had a bigger salary. IIM Udaipur didn’t feel like a benchmark as there was IIM Ahmedabad.
Even driving the dream bike every day didn’t feel like a dream. Despite having all this, I felt a sense of lack. Something was missing. I don’t know what.
In January 2014, I met with a road traffic accident. I was unconscious for the first 15 days. When I regained consciousness, I couldn’t recollect how I met with the accident.
I lost the memory of this particular incident. I was told that a cyclist was involved in the accident with me. (Can you imagine, it was not a truck or heavy vehicle 😂).
In the accident, I fractured my spine. My ribs were broken and my lungs were also damaged. I sustained injuries on my left side. The accident left me paralyzed from the chest down.
I was on a ventilator. Different tubes were inserted into my body to carry out various functions. One for breathing, one for feeding me liquid (I was on a liquid diet), one for passing urine, and a few IV infusions.
Then in my trachea, every hour, secretion would get accumulated, which needed to be sucked out through one tube. This procedure is called suction. It needed to be done every half an hour. Whenever the suction was done, it would send tremors throughout my body. It would shake my body badly. It would drain me completely.
So I could not talk, I could not eat, and there was this painful suction. Since I could not speak and could not do anything, I would think for hours looking for an answer. I could not realize why I was going through such a terrible phase.
I was in the ICU for 3 and a half months. In total, I spent 7 months in hospital. This hospital phase was terrible. I know it saved my life but it broke me from the inside.
I’m not blaming the hospital. But to survive, the medical procedures that I have been through took a toll on me.
I felt it would have been much better if I had died (Now I don’t feel like that. I stopped doing drama. 😂)
I had hit the rock bottom. Usually, confidence comes from our bodies. We feel confident in how tall we are, how we stand, and how our personality is. But when I became paralyzed, it just broke my confidence.
From not wanting to live to not wanting to go out to experiencing the beauty of life to becoming willing to face whatever comes my way, something changed within me. I found a way as I took a spiritual turn. The way is within.
I found something within me that is far more magnificent than the body. I’m not saying the body is not important. A healthy and fully functioning body is needed. But there is something within us which if you touch, these things won’t matter much.
Now I know I was not broken. It was my body which was broken. When I laugh, I laugh wholeheartedly. There is no disability in that. It’s just my body which has lost a few functionalities.
I’m not writing all this to make a drama and tell you what terrible things I have been through. I’m doing it because whatever I have been through has impacted me deeply.
Since I would think for hours in the ICU, I had developed a pattern of overthinking. I didn’t smile for days. Both my thoughts and emotions were messed up.
I’m writing this because I came across a way where all these things are not the issue. One can rise above these things and touch the space beyond thoughts and emotions.
Now I know the way out of the mind. I can guide you. Have a conversation with me!
